So the stereotype is that it’s just a bunch of trendy Tumblr teens who are going through a phase. Well, I’m here to tell you that I am a grown-ass adult, I drink taxes, I pay my scotch, and I’m genderqueer.

Let’s start at the beginning. What does “genderqueer” mean? Well, hold on, why should I even have to explain this. Can people not use Google? [opens computer] Surely in this day and age everyone has access to a wealth of reliable information—

Faaaack

Well, let’s give YouTube a try. There must be some well-thought-out and researched explanations available—

...Okay. [closes computer] Well, clearly the beginning is way too advanced a place to start. We’re gonna have to work our way up from pre-kindergarten here. Alright. Teacher’s gonna need a refill on the juice though. And a pint of raw ether. 

Part -1: Pre-Kindergarten

Now, I could try yet again to explain that gender is a social and psychological concept, while sex is the term used by biologists to describe an organism’s reproductive anatomy.

I could tell you that biological sex itself is a pretty broad and nebulous concept that describes characteristics ranging from chromosomes, to hormones, to primary and secondary sexual anatomy, none of which are strictly binary, and most of which can be altered medically.

And I could point out that the dogmatic insistence on an inflexible gender binary is nothing more than a deliberate political gesture aimed at denying the existence of people who don’t strictly conform to conventional social roles.

But I know that by this point in the video a bunch of freethinking rationalists have already posted a comment explaining that “It’s just a simple scientific fact that there are only two genders”.

And you know, you raise a good point. In fact, why don’t we start with a proper scientific explanation of gender. Doctor?

Part 0: Trans and Non-Binary Identities

You’re watching this video in the 21st century, so you’re presumably aware that transgender people are a thing.

You’ve probably heard that certain people are “born in the wrong body,” and suffer intolerable dysphoria, the only remedy for which is to undergo hormone replacement therapy and gender reassignment surgery with the aim of “passing” as the gender they always knew they truly felt they were.

It’s a story that trans people often have to tell about themselves in order to be taken seriously by doctors and to be understood by the general public. And while it does describe the experience of some trans people, it’s by no means the only trans experience, and it may not even be the most common.

Some trans people only discover their gender identity later in life, some don’t experience dysphoria so intensely. And others, called non-binary people—who may or may not consider themselves trans-—identify with neither gender, with both, or something in between.

Now there are lot of different ways to be NB, and there’s a lot of terminology that helps us make those distinctions. So, for instance, the term “genderqueer”—which is the term I use for myself as of… now—is a very broad term that’s basically a synonym for NB. 

More specific terms include “agender,” which describes people who don’t feel they have a gender at all, “genderfluid,” people whose gender identity varies over time, “androgyne,” people in the middle of the male-female spectrum, and “bigender,” people who identify with both ends of the spectrum.

Now if you’re fairly new to this topic, and most people are, this probably all seems like just a bunch of fucking made-up nonsense. I mean, that’s what I thought the first few times I heard about it too.

You may be thinking that these terms describe mental states that are impossible or delusional (cue shitty unoriginal jokes about attack helicopters) or, alternately, feelings that are universal, in which case you’re probably wondering why we need special terms for feelings that everyone has.

However, all these reactions are misunderstandings. 

Forgivable, but wrong. 

If you want to understand better, the best way is to listen more to the specific experiences of a variety of non-binary people, keeping in mind that no two people’s experiences are the same. So, at the risk of seeming self-indulgent, we may as well start with your humble narrator.

And besides, gazing deep into the troubled depths of another person’s soul is usually at least good for a laugh. Because, well, other people’s pain is funny.

Part 1: My Shameful History of Lying to Myself and my Audience

In the past I’ve described myself as a cross-dresser, a transvestite, or a degenerate pervert. That characterization shows up in a lot of my previous videos, and that’s now coming back to haunt me.

So there are a few different reasons why I used that kind of language. One is that I’ve always felt hesitant about claiming any kind of queer identity. I don’t bang dudes—not yet anyway—I don’t own any rainbow flags. 

And most of the people I’ve known who are non-binary are younger than me, usually AFAB and they date women or each other. It just seemed like this identity wasn’t for me.

Another reason is I’m just a kind of a self-loathing, self-denigrating person. And I just find it genuinely easier to tell myself and other people that I’m just a sexual deviant, because that explanation is a fun and breezy way to write the issue off, and it doesn’t lead to a whole difficult conversation about gender identity.

Also, YouTube is not a safe space, and it’s prudent to pre-satirize yourself, to preemptively say the things a bully might, thereby robbing them of the fun.

Plus, I really value humor, and you know, there’s nothing less funny than self-respect.

And there is a kind of authenticity in the self-denigration too. In my past videos I often evoke depictions of femme men as objects of ridicule or disgust, for instance alluding to Silence of the Lambs or Rocky Horror.

And the truth is I am kind of disgusted and horrified by myself a lot of the time. I’m not proud of that, but it’s a thing. And I know this is probably not the inspiring and affirmative message you want to hear, but I’m not really a very inspirational person. So stop being inspired!—Anyway,

Anyway, I’ve now reached a point where I think I owe myself, and other non-binary people, a little better than I’ve been doing.

 And I’ve been inspired by a lot of mostly younger non-binary people to drop some of the self-denigration and adopt a language that I think actually affirms what I feel inside.

Ugh, what is this channel coming to, I’m talking about my feelings like a fucking queer. What’s next, not drinking myself into a stupor? 

Oh shit, my defenses are lowered. The bullies will make mean videos about me nooooooo!

Part 2: Talking about my feelings like a gay

The term “cross-dresser” is very ill-defined. Basically it refers to anyone who dresses as “the opposite sex.” 

They could do it for fun, for theater, or as a sexual fetish. But essentially they do it as a form of gender expression that’s separate from their own gender identity.

Whereas, when I wear makeup or femme clothing, I feel like I’m expressing my own gender. These aren’t “women’s clothes.” I didn’t steal them from a woman. They’re mine. And they’re part of my gender expression.

So it’s not accurate to call me a cross-dresser, because I’m not “a man in women’s clothes.”

So what am I? Am I a trans woman?

Well, that’s a good question. I’ve had mild dysphoria over the years that’s sometimes gotten bad enough that I have given serious thought to transitioning. 

I still hate my body hair and facial hair and spend a lot of time removing it — ALL OF IT — and I prefer femme or androgynous gender expression.

But here’s the deal. I’m 6’2”, my shoulders are twice as wide as my waist, and I have this voice. So passing—it would take a lot of work.

Plus, I’m indifferent on the issue of breasts and genitals. And indifference is not enough to justify surgery.

I have thought about HRT to get that sweet smooth estrogen skin and some alleged emotional benefits, but you know, it involves a lot of doctors and therapists and that’s not really my scene.

But it’s more than just that. I actually don’t want to surrender some of my masculine attributes. 

For instance, I kind of like my voice. And other people like it too. People respect a masculine voice. And I’m not gonna go passing on male privilege just to be true to myself.

So I feel the term “genderqueer” best captures what I feel a really am, namely some kind of freakish hybrid.

And I know some people will take offense to my saying I’m freakish, but I’m taking a stand on this, goddamn it. I reserve the right to be freakish and abnormal.

And I do get that normalizing non-binary identities is an important part of the political struggle for a lot of people. I work in entertainment, which is where people like me have traditionally ended up, and one privilege of that is that I can afford to be outlandish. Whereas non-binary people who work in an office have to convince people that they’re just like everyone else. And I completely support that.

But I also think that society should accept, and maybe even celebrate people are strange and deviant.

I guess what I really take issue with are trans people like fucking Blaire White, who insist that everyone who doesn’t conform rigidly to cis norms is some kind of liability.

“I’m Blaire White. I don’t like it when people are different. Why can’t everyone just be normal. I’m Blaire White.”

Blaire… why are you like this?

Part 3: Pronouns 

In some languages, like Chinese, there are no gendered pronouns, so in those languages this wouldn’t be an issue. English, though, traditionally forces people to use either male or female pronouns.

A lot of non-binary people choose to use “they” as a gender-neutral pronoun. In my experience this is especially true with agender people who don’t like the experience of being gendered one way or another.

Now I’m more on the genderfluid or bigender side of non-binary—though don’t use a label other than genderqueer because I just find them too specific—so I don’t experience a lack of gender, but rather an excess. I’ve just got so much fucking gender. So much gender deep inside me.

So you can call me “he” or “she”—either is fine. What I like the most is a rapid, disorienting alternation between the two, but I get that’s a lot to ask for, so just call me whatever you want. I’m making this real easy for you. I’m basically unmisgenderable.

[cut to] 

JUNE(shoe0nhead): collect all the labels

Maybe I will, June. Maybe I GODDAMN WILL.

Part 4: Concluding Unscientific Postscript

So let’s end his video by doing a quick shoot down of what I’m guessing are gonna be the most common objections to… who I am.

Objection 1: Why can’t you just dress how you like without a special label you goddamn snowflake?

Well, as I already said, being genderqueer is about more than just clothes. It affects how I experience my body, how I relate to others, how the world reacts to me, and even real personal shit, like who and how I want to BANG.

And when you tell genderqueer people that we shouldn’t have a word for ourselves, you’re in effect asking us to drop the banner that allows us to understand ourselves, to find each other, and to collectively demand recognition and understanding. 

So telling us we shouldn’t have a label basically amounts to asking us to shut up and disappear.

Objection 2: You’re just doing this for attention

Well, I do like attention. But the public aspect of this is just the tip of a psychological iceberg, so no, that’s not correct.

Objection 3: This makes you a bad feminist because gender is a caste system based systemic subjugation of women by men, and not just some identity that you can claim because of how you feel

Well, can’t it be both? Honestly this objection is more likely to come up for non-binary AFAB people, since they can be accused of GENDER TREASON.

I’d suggest reading genderqueer feminist Laurie Penny’s take on this. Basically they identify as non-binary though also as a “political woman” in recognition of the need to defend female reproductive rights.

Objection 4: It’s just a simple scientific fact that there are only two genders.

And now we’ve come full circle. Man, can’t I enjoy parading around my new identity for five minutes without having to compose a goddamn philosophical excursus justifying myself?

Well, the answer is no. No I can’t. So you know what, go ahead and post your shitty hotdog biology argument in the comments section, you fucking cis scum. Mm. I’m gonna enjoy that.